Persistence

I weighed in yesterday at the Weight Watchers in Provo . . . I didn't stay for the meeting, but I knew it wouldn't be the same as "my" meeting at home, so I don't feel bad about that. I am happy to report that even after the road trip, I still lost 1.6 lbs!! I was so happy . . . the feeling you get after a good weigh-in is just amazing. There's just something about hanging in there even when it's hard and proving to yourself that you can do it week after week. It's the best feeling in the world.

I know that this week will be a huge challenge. We already had Panda Express (I had to do it, they don't even have it in Nebraska!) and pizza (my personal food enemy) yesterday. I'm still within my points and I worked out hard yesterday and again this morning, so that will help. There are family parties tonight and tomorrow afternoon. Parties, with all the food just laying there calling to me are another huge pit fall for me. I'll have to enlist my husband to help me resist the temptations.

While we're here we're staying in my best friend's parents house (they're on a mission at a girls camp so they only come home once a week) and there's this saying on the wall downstairs:

"That which we persist in doing becomes easy to do; not that the nature of the thing has changed, but that our power to do has increased."

Ain't that the truth?? Each person has incalculable potential and power to change their own life and the lives of others, and hanging in there when things get tough is a huge part of that.

Everyone have a great week . . . I definitely plan to!

Road Trip!

Okay, so we're on our way to Utah. Road Trips are definitely hazardous when you're trying to eat well! My idea of a road trip growing up was being able to spend crazy amounts of money on nuts, beef jerky, gummy worms and every other snack I usually didn't allow myself and to eat them with reckless abandon for 12 hours straight. That's not exactly conducive to maintaining a healthy weight!

We tried to be good about food in the car. We let the kids each pick a treat (Spiderman fruit snacks and Yogos) and we packed granola bars, peanuts, crackers, V-8, a cooler with grapes, carrots, sliced cheese, bananas, yogurt and lots of water. Considering how the day could have gone had I just let myself go, I did very well. I wrote everything down until the evening, when we went to Outback Steakhouse. I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich and got broccoli instead of fries. I could have asked for no cheese, but come on . . . this is vacation! There have to be some indulgences!

I don't have high hopes for the weigh-in this Friday (I'm planning to attend a meeting in Utah), but I hope that I don't see a gain. It's near impossible to get in a workout when you're trying to travel almost 1,000 miles in two days with three kids, but hopefully I'll be able to make up for that once we get there. We're planning to go hiking at least two days and I'm sure we'll be walking around a few malls. I also brought all my Tae-Bo DVD's and I'm sure I'll do that more than once.

So, after day one, things are going well. I just have to keep reminding myself that vacation is not an excuse to let go of all the good habits I have learned, and that indulging in food that I want in the moment will NOT help me feel better in the long run.

Time for bed . . . Tomorrow, Utah here we come!

Oh, Guilt...

Who hasn't had to deal with guilt at one time or another? It's everywhere... regret for past actions, guilt for wronging another, for not being better at something... MOMMY GUILT, anyone? Man, I REALLY hate guilt. And, I am guilty (no pun intended =) ) of letting it overwhelm me at times.

One source of guilt that I am trying to eradicate from my life is food guilt. It's a vicious cycle . . . you want the food, you eat the food (too much of the food!), you feel TERRIBLE after eating the food, you feel like a failure, you say what's the use . . . you want the food, you eat the food . . . and on and on until you end up overweight and on the couch with another bowl of said food. Okay, so I'm exaggerating, but really . . . guilt is no fun, and it's a slippery slope that leads to a definite loss of self-worth.

That said, I'm dealing this morning with a case of food guilt. My husband came home from his deployment on Saturday afternoon. He had requested a favorite meal, topped off with chocolate cheesecake. On Saturday night I did soooo well! I was so proud of myself, I had the smallest sliver of cheesecake (still 5 1/2 points!), and I was satisfied. Sunday was a different story! Somehow, the cheesecake overcame me and I ate two . . . yes, TWO . . . pieces of that darn cake. Almost immediately afterward I was so furious at myself, and I felt so disgusting. I really, really wished that I could make myself throw up. Unfortunately (or fortunately, I'm not sure at the moment) even if I really want to throw up, I can't make myself, no matter what I stick down my throat. So, this morning I'm dealing with the "food hangover", and with the thought that we're leaving on vacation on Wednesday and I used up more than half of my weekly points allowance on that dumb cheesecake.

There is a voice from crash diets of the past whispering in my ear that I can make up for it today by eating very little and working out a lot . . . but what will that solve? I'll just be hungry and cranky, and that doesn't make anyone feel better. On the other shoulder, the Weight Watchers voice of sensibility is whispering, "Just stay on plan today . . . drink all your water, exercise, eat well, and forget about the stupid cheesecake." I think that's a better plan.

TGIF!!!

I love Fridays! I look forward to Friday all week, and not because it's the weekend, but because it's my meeting day! It's just a great feeling knowing that I have stayed on plan all week long, that I feel good, that I look good, and that I'll probably have a loss. It's even better to know that if I don't have a loss, it's not the end of the world . . . that I'll just have to wait until next week.

Good news today: I lost 1.4 lbs! I was very happy, but I'm kind of amazed that going to the meetings each week is becoming about more than the numbers on the scale. I go to weigh in, of course, but also just to feel the camaraderie of people who understand. It's always great to feel that you are among friends.

Today we talked about lots of food ideas; I learned that Thomas's makes a 1-pt english muffin (I'm definitely going to find those!), and that Panera bread has a great Strawberry Poppy Seed Salad for only 3 points! I guess I'll have to give Panera a try since I've never been there.

We talked about "detours", and how weight-loss is like a road trip. You sometimes have to veer from the original plan, but if you follow the signs and keep on going, you'll eventually reach the same destination. Quite an ironic topic for me, since we're going on vacation next Wednesday. A road trip to Utah . . . I have been quite nervous about it, but I'm gaining confidence. I know that I can make good choices, and I know that I'll be able to have treats too! It's great to have a lifestyle that is so flexible. I'll be attending the next two meetings in Utah, I hope they're as motivating as the ones here.

P.S. My husband gets home from his deployment tomorrow... Woo-hoo!

I Have the Power

It will come as no surprise to others on a weight-loss journey that this is not my first time trying to lose weight... in fact, it's not the second or third or even fourth time. I can't even remember a time when losing weight wasn't on my mind. There have been good diets and bad diets, fast ones and slow ones. I've even tried Weight Watchers countless times before, but this time, there is one fundamental difference: I realize that I am powerful. I know that I have the power to change my life.

There have been periods of time in my life when I did not have this belief, some of them pretty extended periods. When I was younger, I was pretty much unaware of the power I had to change, so I didn't really explore it. When I was in college, I was aware that people could change, but I didn't believe that I was one of them. I have so many memories of times when others have taken my power from me... and I let them do it! One time in grade school a boy walked up to me, stopped and looked me up and down and then said, "You're fat." Just like that. Completely matter of factly, he summed my entire being up in those two words. And that is what I became.

I remember other comments, even from well-intentioned friends or family members. My dad once told me that I needed to just accept that I was overweight ("big-boned", he said, as if that's any less insulting than fat!) and be happy with the way I was. I know he was just trying to help, but he took my power away because I believed him, and I thought I could never change. Another time, after losing more than 20 pounds, in line at a fast-food restaurant a friend jested with me about always ordering salads... and what did I do? I quit the diet. I let her take my power and I gave up on believing in myself. I remember every single comment, every look, every time I ever felt different because I was fat. I remember longing to be one of the "skinny girls", just wanting to be able to trade clothes with a friend, or to be able to wear the cute clothes that only came in smaller sizes.

Time after time, I tried, really tried to lose weight . . . but without actually believing that I could do it. Lots of times I kept it a secret, knowing that if I failed, no one would have to know. I would go on crazy diets that promised a pound a day . . . I even tried prescription diet pills. Those things worked, but they were all only a temporary fix. For many years, remembering these things made me feel worse, but now they help to remind me how far I've come, and they strengthen my will to change, to become more than just the fat girl.

This time it's different. I'm following the plan, taking it slow, one day at a time. My losses each week aren't big, and deep down I'm glad . . . because it's teaching me patience, a virtue which I definitely lack. It's also helping me to make this way of eating habit, and not just something I do for a few months. I'm sick of the roller coaster, and this time when I joined Weight Watchers, I knew it wasn't just for a one-day ticket into the weight-loss amusement park. This is life . . . there will be french fries, and birthday cake, and KFC on the 4th of July. With this plan, I am fully equipped to handle whatever "life" throws my way.

I'm going to win this weight loss game . . . I think of how it will feel to reach my goal weight almost every day. Every day that I stay on plan, I build up my power reserve. Every time that I turn down or pass by a food that I know isn't going to work for me, I get stronger. Every time that I opt to eat the french fries, or the cake or the ice cream, when I know I have the points, I feel absolutely empowered!

No one can take my power away unless I let them. This is my life, and I have the power to change.

Who Doesn't Love Pancakes?

Oh, pancakes... the ultimate in comfort breakfast. I love them, the kids love them. Do weight watchers love them? Um, not so much. Pancakes with all the trimmings at a restaurant can set you back quite a few points... probably more than you get for the whole day. Fortunately, there are ways to make great pancakes! We tried gingerbread pancakes a few months back and they've become a staple, (so, so, so yummy, I promise to share the recipe soon!), so yesterday (Sunday) morning, the kids were all for trying a new pancake recipe.

These are delicious! I think what I love best about these is that you don't need anything but a little bit of spread/butter/whatever you use on top. No dealing with the points or mess of syrup.

Chunky Apple Pancakes

1 cup flour
1 Tbsp light brown sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/8 tsp salt
1 large egg, lightly beaten
2 tsp vegetable oil
2/3 cup 1% milk
1/2 cup chunky applesauce

1. Lightly spoon flour into a dry measuring cup; level with a knife. Combine flour, sugar, and next 3 ingredients in a large bowl; stir with a whisk. Combine egg, oil, milk, and applesauce; stir with a whisk until blended. Add to flour mixture, and stir until dry ingredients are moistened.
   
2. Spoon about 1/4 cup batter onto a hot nonstick griddle or nonstick skillet coated with cooking spray. Turn pancakes when tops are covered with bubbles and edges look cooked. Yield: 8 pancakes, 2 points each.

I always double the batch when I make pancakes, then you can eat them later for snacks (the kids eat them cold, right out of the fridge) or for breakfast on another day. They also freeze really well. I just use the toaster to warm them up, then spread light butter on top and voilà! a very tasty breakfast!

This was our first time making this recipe, and they were a big hit with me and Eli. Carli wasn't too impressed with the apple chunks, so about two-thirds of the way through the batter, I chopped up a banana (chopped, not smashed) and added that in. That worked like a charm! I think she believed that the apples were gone, and I didn't try to change her mind. I loved the added banana . . . they tasted like banana bread! So next time, I will just add banana from the beginning. I also promised that we will eat them with sliced bananas and strawberries and whipped cream.

Anyone want to join us??

It could have been so much worse

Well, I made it through last night-- but not without a battle. Not five minutes after I finished the post, Eli came and asked me if we could make cookies. Seems the demon was calling out to him as well. And with those five words, "Can we make cookies please", all my resolve came crashing down.

I tried to be real about it. I knew the craving was real, but I knew I was on the edge emotionally and that the smallest thing was going to send me diving to the bottom of the bowl, not just swimming around the edges. I looked up a Weight Watchers recipe for chocolate chip cookies, and we got started. I knew that even if things went horribly wrong, I couldn't eat more than 24 points . . . that's the entire recipe!

Mini Chocolate Chip Cookies

• 2 Tbsp butter, softened
• 2 tsp canola oil
• 1/2 cup dark brown sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1/8 tsp table salt
• 1 large egg white(s)
• 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/4 tsp baking soda
• 3 oz semi-sweet chocolate chips, about 1/2 cup

Preheat oven to 375ºF.

• In a medium bowl, cream together butter, oil and sugar. Add vanilla, salt and egg white; mix thoroughly to combine.
  
• In a small bowl, mix together flour and baking soda; stir into batter. Add chocolate chips to batter; stir to distribute evenly throughout.
  
• Drop rounded half-teaspoons of dough onto one or two large nonstick baking sheets, leaving a small amount of space between each cookie. Bake cookies until golden around edges, about 4 to 6 minutes; cool on a wire rack. Yields 2 cookies per serving, 1 point.
  

These little cookies are actually really good... the dough was tasty too. I ate 14 points worth of dough... I really don't care about them after they're cooked. It was more than I wanted to eat, but I didn't have to feel guilty about it, because I had the points and I wrote it down. So I ate broccoli and chocolate chip cookies for dinner . . . So what??

Score: Me--1, Cookie Dough Demon--Zero

(P.S. Thanks to my friend Heather for the kind comment. Heather is a fellow weight watcher who has lost more than 40 lbs! Awesome!!)

It's getting a little heavy

This load I'm carrying, I mean. I'm really sick of being the only parent. Being alone and taking care of three kids all day every day is wearing on me. I've been doing pretty well, in fact, my husband comes home from his deployment a week from today, but right now I feel like I'm about to have a breakdown. There has been a lot of screaming in the house today... me screaming, Carli screaming, Sammy screaming. It's starting to wear on my nerves. I am feeling lots of emotions and right now I want to drown them in a big bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough!

Deep down (deep, deep, down) I know that chocolate chip cookie dough will do nothing for me, in fact, it'll probably leave me pretty mad later, but right now I really want it. I'm trying really hard to fight the impulse to just eat anything and everything right now. I do really well during the week, but on the weekends, I just feel like letting go... especially when I'm tired and frustrated and very lonely. I just want Ben home now.

Right now it's only 6 pm and I just can't wait to put the kids in bed. Sounds terrible, but if you have kids, you understand. The evening seems endless, and I just need some peace.

I also have another worry on my mind. My back... it's acting up again. I have a herniated disk, which they've been treating with steroid epidurals. The first one was during my pregnancy, last July, and it lasted for 6 months. They basically inject steroids around the herniated disk and it alleviates the swelling and pressure and takes the pain away. The second one was in February, and it's lasted until now. I was really hoping to make it all the way through the deployment, but it doesn't look like that will happen. It's been hurting during the night and seizing up at times during the day. Eventually, if it goes too long, I won't be able to walk. Stress management is not my forté and thinking about arranging a babysitter for the procedure and someone to go with me, not to mention making it through all the days until I actually get it scheduled is just about more than I can take right now.

Thanks for listening to my rant. This blogging thing is turning out to be pretty therapeutic. I can't hear the cookie dough calling to me so loudly now, it's more like a whisper. Hopefully it will just fade out until I can't hear it anymore. Wish me luck. =)

That was the best meeting!

What a great WW meeting this morning! (Except for the fact that I had to take Carli and Sammy. I try really hard to always have a babysitter, but this morning I just had no choice.)
Here are some of the reasons why this meeting was so good:

1. My leader, Nancy, is so cool. I just love her. I have been on WW off and on for 10+ years now, sometimes joining meetings, sometimes just trying it on my own. Of the three places I actually joined, this one is the best. I tried out several different meetings in California and I just didn't find a leader who I felt really cared. This time has been very different... The second week when I walked through the door, Nancy was standing there and said, "Hi Luella!" I couldn't believe that she remembered my name after only one week, and it made me feel like she really cared. Nancy is one of those people who can make everyone in the room feel special. Love her!
2. The people in the meeting are just awesome! One lady (Anne?) had lost over 40 pounds today... what an accomplishment! Others are just starting out, or somewhere in the middle, and there are lifers (who I really admire because they've really made it a life change--they're still coming!) There are also a couple of men in the meeting, which I really like too. One man (I don't know his name yet), is just really funny. I love whenever he makes a comment. On the way out of the meeting today he stopped me and told me that I was an inspiration. What a nice thing to say... it totally made my day! I hope he knows and that everyone in the meeting knows that they are my inspiration! Going to that meeting week after week with people who understand my struggles is invaluable to me.
3. I shared the website with everyone. I have talked in previous posts about how telling people that I'm on WW is empowering to me. It makes me accountable and there is a certain sense of peer pressure... If everyone knows, I will work harder to show the world that I can do it. I hope that I get some visitors from the meeting (If you do visit, please leave a comment so I know you were here!).
4. Great ideas today! Nancy gave an idea for the WW smoothies (which were on sale today). One vanilla smoothie packet, one cup milk (or almond milk is what she uses), 1/2 c pumpkin, dash of cinnamon. More of a winter taste, but I love pumpkin anytime! Another idea was a fruit smoothie with "Naked" brand juice. One serving of juice, one WW yogurt, bunch of ice, blend up and enjoy for only three points. Sounds good with the weather right now!
5. I got clapped for! I lost 1.8 lbs today and met the 25 lb mark. That's down 26.4 at WW and 37.6 lbs lost total. I'm so proud of myself.

Oh, one more thing. My leader asked about the picture of me on the blog... asked if it was a before picture. That got me thinking that I should post a before picture (even though I really don't want to!) I do love to see before and afters though, so I'm going to do it anyway. This is "before" and "current". The "After" picture is still to come! (left 01/03/08, right 06/13/08)

Hoping to get clapped for tomorrow...

Anyone who has attended Weight Watchers meetings knows that it's all about support... it's about sitting in a room with a bunch of other people who know exactly how you feel and who have the same struggles you do. Even the leaders and receptionists have all lost weight on the program (I love that!). So, every time you reach a milestone (every five pounds, 10%, on program16 weeks, etc), you get recognized and everyone claps for you. Two weeks ago I met my 10% and 16 weeks on the same day, so I got double clapping!

Last week I was .4 lbs away from 25 lbs gone forever... I'm really hoping to see it gone tomorrow. I've had a good week... stayed on plan, even eating less of my weekly points allowance than usual, but I'm just not feeling it. I don't feel like I have lost anything this week. Let's hope that's a fluke! We'll see tomorrow morning.

I was talking with a friend today who's thinking of joining Weight Watchers. She's not sure about it yet...the money, a vacation coming up, etc. I told her there will always be something coming up. It's been 10 years since the first time I did Weight Watchers, and for ten years, there has always been something--some reason to stop following the plan, some excuse to stop exercising, just something that keeps me from my goals. NO MORE. I am so committed this time. I'm just going to keep doing it until I reach my goals, and then I'm going to keep doing it after that! I feel very empowered this time, I'm just not going to let any excuse get in the way. There will be weeks that don't go so well, but that's life. Just try harder the next week and keep on trying, and it will work. It doesn't have to be fast (something I have to tell myself every day!).

One thing that has helped me immensely this time: Telling anyone and everyone that I'm on Weight Watchers . . . being proud of myself . . . and not worrying about what anyone else thinks of me. It took me a long time to get to that point, but I'm there and it's helping me get to where I want to be!

To my friend: You can do it. You are worth it. Don't ever forget it.

Cloudy Days are for Baking!

After the thunderstorm kept me and Carli awake (Eli and Sammy slept right through it) for more than an hour last night, I was definitely ready for a pajama day. It's now quarter to five and I'm still wearing them! Sometimes you just have to do that!

The day started out very cloudy and gloomy, and we needed something to cheer us up, so we decided to make bread! It was super easy to make, and turned out delicious. It's two points per slice, but for homemade bread, it's worth it. I knew I wouldn't be able to resist a couple of thick slices, so I was ready to spend my points allowance on it. I ate 17 points with the butter and jam, and I am totally happy with that!



The recipe is from the 2003 Weight Watchers Annual Recipes for Success.

Oatmeal-Molasses Bread Prep: 15 min, Rise: 70 min, Cook: 35 min

1 package dry yeast
1 cup warm water
3 Tbsp molasses
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup regular oats
1 Tbsp vegetable oil
1 1/2 tsp salt
Cooking Salt

1. Dissolve yeast in warm water in a large bowl. Add molasses; let stand 5 minutes. Lightly spoon flour into dry measuring cups; level with knife. Combine 1 cup flour, oats, oil and salt. Add flour mixture to yeast mixture, stirring to form a soft dough. Gradually add remaining flour.
2. Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface. Knead until smooth and elastic (about 2 minutes). Place dough in a large bowl coated with cooking spray, turning to coat top. Cover and let rise in a warm place, 35 minutes or until doubled in size.
3. Punch dough down; place on a lightly floured surface. Knead about 10 times; roll into a 12x7-inch rectangle. Roll up rectangle tightly, starting with a short side, pressing firmly to eliminate sir pockets; pinch seam and ends to seal. Place roll, seam side down, in an 8x4-inch loaf pan coated with cooking spray. Cover; let rise 35 minutes or until doubled in size.
4. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
5. Uncover dough. Bake at 375 for 35 minutes or until loaf is browned and sounds hollow when tapped. Remove from pan; cool on a wire rack. Yield: 14 servings, 2 points each.

The bread is really delicious! I doubled the recipe... why make bread unless you can take a loaf to a neighbor?

Beef Macaroni Soup

I was really craving something good for dinner tonight. By good, I mean something that tastes good, and is good for me as well. I haven't been cooking very much since my husband has been deployed. I usually cook a lot because I really enjoy it, but with Ben gone, it's just too hard to get everything done. Tonight, though, I really wanted something tasty.

I decided on this soup because it's delicious, full of vegetables, and super easy to make. My oldest child, Eli is an aspiring chef, so he'll eat just about anything (or at least give it a try), but my three-year-old, Carli, definitely has issues with this soup--too many "big green things!" I just keep making it though--it'll have to grow on her.

It's pretty low in points, and if you use whole-wheat pasta, it's good for the Core plan as well.

Beef Macaroni Soup Serves: 6 Points: 4

1 lb lean ground beef

1 can diced tomatoes, undrained

1 small can tomato sauce

3/4 cup water

1 can beef broth

2 cups frozen mixed vegetables

1/4 tsp pepper

1 1/2 cups uncooked elbow macaroni

In a large saucepan, cook beef over medium-high heat, drain. Stir in the tomatoes, water, broth, vegetables and pepper. Bring to a boil; add macaroni. Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 8-10 minutes or until macaroni and vegetables are tender. Add salt to taste.

It's a really big serving for four points, and really filling. It's a great way to get in some vegetables at the end of the day.

Black Bean Brownies

Yes, you read that right. Black Bean Brownies. This is not your typical "I'll-substitute-something to-take-the-place-of-fat, and-even-though-they-won't-taste-good, I'll-still-eat-them-because-
they'll-be-low-in-points" kind of recipe. You really can't taste the black beans. Really.

Here's a little proof of the tastiness of this recipe:










My kids love these brownies, and they have no idea that they're made with a can of black beans instead of water, oil and eggs! If a three and a five-year-old will eat them, anyone will! These brownies are near the top of the list of recipes I have discovered since starting Weight Watchers.

Black Bean Brownies

1 box low-fat brownie mix (I use the Betty Crocker brand, 13X9 family size--get it at Walmart)
1 can black beans

Do not rinse or drain the black beans (I know, I know... just trust me). Pour beans and juice into a food processor and puree until smooth. I'm sure a blender would work fine too. In a large bowl, combine the beans with the brownie mix, stir until combined. Spray a 13X9 pan with cooking spray and pour in the brownie mix. Add 10-12 minutes to the cooking time on the box. Mine usually cook for a total of about 37 minutes. Let cool, cut and enjoy.

You can cut the pan into 18 squares or 20--both work out to 2 Points per square. It is a pretty good sized brownie--especially when brownies are usually 5 points or more.

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

Friday is my Weight Watchers meeting day, and I forgot to update the blog after weigh-in yesterday. I went in feeling pretty confident; I had had several really good workouts and I was looking for a pretty good loss. When the scale only showed -.8 lbs, I had to work to hide my disappointment. My leader, Nancy, always points out that a loss is a loss, no matter how small. So, I am happy with my loss, even though it isn't what I wanted. I have to continually remind myself that losses of only .8 per week do add up over time.

One of my biggest struggles with weight loss/control is that I want it NOW! I do not want to have a loss of .8 lbs over how ever many weeks... I want a loss of 50 pounds now! I know that's not possible, and this time I am trying to do it right, and do it permanently. I do know how to lose weight quickly, and I've done it before... but I've seen it come right back on just as fast. This time, I'm trying to be patient.

Looking at the big picture is sometimes hard because the final goal seems so far away, even unattainable. It's much easier and more realistic to break the journey up into smaller steps. I reached my first goal (10%) last week, and my next goal is to be under 200 (OH! It is SO hard to actually type the numbers!). That's only 10 pounds away, and that's very doable.

This week I'll be listening intently to the little voice in the back of my head that whispers, "Patience, Luella, patience. You can do it."

My Year

Back in February, I turned 30 and I decided that this was MY YEAR. The year that I will finally get control of my weight and take back the power that food seems to have over me. The day after my birthday I walked into Weight Watchers and I've been back every week since then.
On Friday I met my first goal: 10% of my starting weight! I had lost ten pounds before I joined WW, so that's a total loss of 33.8 lbs. I thought several times about starting a weight loss blog, but I was kind of embarrassed... it has taken me four months to get over the embarrassment and to realize that there's nothing embarrassing about wanting to be healthy, wanting to be a good example for my kids, and just plain wanting to look good!
I've always had the mind set that I can lose weight completely on my own, that I don't need to tell anyone that I'm trying to lose weight... and all of this with the thought in the back of my mind that if I fail, then no one will ever have to know. Not this time. I have been very open from the beginning, even with people whom I don't think will understand, and you know what? Just about every single person I've told has been super supportive! I had a lot of fears for nothing.
My number one supporter is my husband Ben. He has been behind me 100% since day one. He even started counting points with me, just to make me feel like I wasn't alone in this. We've tried to really make it a permanent change, finding new lower-fat, lower-calorie recipes for the whole family.

I will do this, and this time it will be forever. This is my year.