Ugh.

Do you ever just not want to talk about it? That's how I feel today. I opened a new post last night and I just sat and stared at the screen. I just don't want to talk about it (but of course, now that I've started typing, I guess I will talk about it. =) ).

My weigh-in wasn't awful, but it wasn't good either. It was to be expected after eating pretty much off-plan in St. John, but I thought I had made up for it in the five days since we got home. Nope.

Argh. I'm bummed and I feel frustrated. I'm having jealousy issues--looking at people around me and wondering why I can't look like that--why I can't be that thin, why I can't have those legs or that waist, or those toned arms (ARMS! I hate them!). Stupid, I know. Yet, those feelings keep coming to me and I find myself harboring ill-well towards people I don't even know!

Last night the Cookie Dough Demon almost got to me--I was SO close to making a whole batch and downing half of it on the spot. Thankfully, I got out my food journal instead and took stock of the day, realizing that if I did the cookie dough thing, I would ruin a perfectly healthy day. I got busy on the computer instead and caught up the family blog about our trip to St. John. Victory.

Next goal: Stop comparing myself to others and wishing for the Magic Makeover Fairy to swoop down and instantly change all the things I don't like about my body. Even the person I think looks most perfect has something she would like to change about her body. Don't we all?

Good news: I'm not giving up. I sure am frustrated, but hopefully I can channel that frustration into determination and make progress towards my goal.

Frustrated, but determined. Wow, not talking about it sure does help sometimes (hee,hee)!